Yes, cats basically get "high" while on catnip, as the volatile oil Nepetalactone triggers feelings of euphoria. However, this sensation is non-addictive, and it often produces positive benefits, such as relaxation and playfulness. Also, cats can't get addicted to catnip, as the more they use it, the less effective it becomes.
The name's Lester. Lester Fuzzywinkle. A couple of days ago, I was a prominent Whisker City detective. One might even say I was the best detective on the force. A one-man army fighting for justice, peace, and understanding. A pillar of the local community.
"Can you hurry this up? We don't have all day," Dr. Patches butted in.
It's technically day 13 of my undercover sting operation. However, now, I'm deeper undercover than I ever thought possible. Now, I'm technically what you would call a "fugitive of the law" and a "criminal." My captain wanted me to take some psych evaluations and then find evidence to bring Kingpin's network down.
I had other plans.
Dr. Patches, the department's psychologist, helped arrange my escape. She put me under solitary review, and I would "break out" of custody and return to the streets.
She was putting her career on the line for me. But why?
According to her, it's about getting the truth out there. It's about letting every cat in Whisker City know that catnip is a beneficial drug, not a demonic scourge against proper society.
"Are you done yet?" She asked. Her arms were folded across each other, and she tapped her paw on the pavement.
"Yeah, I'm done," I replied. I placed my manifesto into the envelope. The captain would find this and discover why I left. I just wondered whether he would send the entire force after me or just a couple of loyal goons. Only time will tell.
How to Use Catnip
You can use catnip in various ways. First, you can have your cat sniff a pinch of catnip in your hand. Alternatively, you can rub catnip on toys or scratching posts. Since the herb triggers playfulness, catnip works well when paired with activity.
The first stop was Felin, the underground catnip dealer network working for Kingpin. I had to show her I was part of her team now and not working for the fuzz. I just hoped she would forgive me enough to let me back into the fold. Otherwise, this whole thing could come crashing down almost immediately.
Since my nerves were shot, I decided to take a free hit of cat nip to calm myself. I pulled a pinch of dried 'Nip out and placed it under my nose.
The positive, sensual feelings rushed into my brain. It was like I was a kitten again, without a care in the world. I rubbed myself against a nearby wall as the Nepetalactone did its thing. Suddenly, all the worries and concerns I had about leaving the force drained from my body like a pool of warm milk.
After a few minutes, I felt strong paws grabbing my arms. Did the captain find me already?
Do Cats Get High on Catnip?
Yes, technically, cats get "high" when sniffing catnip. If a cat ingests catnip, they'll feel drowsy and sleepy. If a cat ingests too much, though, it can make them sick, so it's best to limit their intake.
"So, why do cats like catnip?" a voice asked.
I tilted my head around, trying to get a sense of where I was. A black bag was around my head, and it smelled slightly moldy. My captors obviously have never heard of Febreze.
"Because it helps them relax and feel good. One free hit and they forget all their troubles and become calm and serene. It's quite the experience, really," I replied.
Suddenly, a paw pulled the bag off my head. The lights above were blinding, bathing the whole room in white light for a moment. Finally, I could make out the underground processing room where Felin and her cronies harvested the catnip plant.
"Now, here comes the hard question. Are you wearing a wire?" Felin pointed to my chest.
"You're more than welcome to feel around for yourself," I replied, winking.
She snapped her fingers, and one of her goons started frisking me. It felt weird.
"He's clean," he mumbled.
"Okay. Now we can get down to business."
The Best Catnip in Whisker City
"So, when were you going to tell me that you were a cop?" Felin sat down opposite me. My hands were still tied up, letting me know she's in charge.
"I wasn't. I mean, that's kind of the whole point, right? If I told you, would you have let me into your inner circle?" I stammered.
"No, but at least I wouldn't have to hurt you. I don't like liars. Especially ones that could put me in jail," she snapped. She pulled herself closer, until we were almost touching noses. Her breath smelled vaguely like tuna. It was heavenly.
"But I'm not a cop anymore! I defected!" I blurted out.
"Defected? Isn't that when you trade nationalities?" She backed her head up, cocking it to the side.
"I mean, I've heard it both ways." I looked down sheepishly.
"How do I know that for sure, though?" She asked.
"Because the cops are all anti-catnip, and I'm a huge fan! I know the truth! I'm ready and willing to spread the message to every male, female, and child cat in the city!"
"Okay, I'll bite; give me your best sales pitch." She crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, a smug look on her face.
What is Catnip?
Catnip is part of the mint family. The official name of the plant is nepeta cataria, and it contains a volatile oil called Nepetalactone. Catnip is native to Europe and Asia but grows practically everywhere, including North and South America.
"Hello, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to this episode of Cat Crack Chronicles! I'm your host, Mr. Fuzzywinkles, and I'm here to explain what catnip is and why it's so great!" I bellowed.
"Why are you using such a stupid voice?" Felin asked.
"Because it's family-friendly," I replied.
"Well, stop. It's too silly, and I don't like it," she said.
"Okay, how about this?" I returned to my usual detective growl.
"Sure, whatever. Is catnip dangerous, Mr. Fuzzywinkle?" She made herself sound like a young kitten.
"No, little girl, it isn't! In fact, it's one of the best substances out there! It's non-addictive, and it has many unique health benefits for cats of all ages."
"What kind of health benefits?" Her voice squeaked.
"Anxiety, depression, and stress relief, for starters. When cats get all wound up, a free hit of catnip is enough to help them calm down. Stressed about an upcoming test? Try Cat Crack! Worried about the current state of world affairs? Cat Crack! Having trouble sleeping because of the state of world affairs? Cat Crack!"
"Okay, less about world affairs and more about the health benefits. The mayor and Channel 4 News are putting out all kinds of crazy stories about cat nip, so we need to push it harder," she explained.
"Cat Crack will literally save your life!" I shouted.
"Too far, dial it back," she replied.
Cat Crack is the Best Catnip Around
Catnip is a natural way to help your cat feel their best. If they're struggling with anxiety, stress, or sleep problems, small amounts of catnip can help alleviate these issues. Catnip is non-addictive and comes with no harmful side effects. A little Cat Crack goes a long way.
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