"Catnip? You've been using catnip?" The words spilled out of my mouth, but I still couldn't believe them.
My own son. Using catnip. My 15-year-old kitten (that's one human year, by the way) getting drawn in by the Green Fairy herself. I've been hearing stories about it on Channel 4 News. How catnip turns even the best felines into drugged-up degenerates, ready to sell their own mother for another free hit.
Now, the stories are hitting home. Literally. In my own home. I never thought I would live to see the day.
"Uh, mom? You're spacing out again." My son's words snapped me back to the here and now.
"Where did you get this? Oh, why do cats like catnip? If only it wasn't so alluring!" I shoved the bag in his face as I accused him.
"Mom! It's not that bad! I use it to mellow out before an exam. Plenty of kids at school are using it these days!" As soon as he blurted out the truth, his eyes shifted down. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut.
Too late.
"Oh really? All the kids at school are getting 'Nipped, are they? Well, maybe I'll just call all the pawrents and let them know that there's a cat nip ring operating right under their noses!"
I marched into the kitchen, pulling the phone off the hook. Yes, we still use a landline phone. Get over it.
What Does Catnip Do to Cats?
When sniffed, catnip can make cats feel playful and energetic. Typically, cats will roll around and mimic arousal, as the volatile oil Nepetalactone triggers an olfactory response. If ingested, catnip can make cats relaxed and sleepy.
My outburst caused quite the panic at the school. An emergency meeting was called so parents could voice their concerns and find out who to blame for this mess. Our kittens were literally purrfect a few months ago. Now, this Cat Crack and Kitty Crack are practically bursting out from every wall in the city.
"Is catnip a drug? Should we punish all the students for using it?" Another voice screamed from the crowd.
"Now calm down, everyone. We've brought in an expert on the situation. His name is Dr. Scratch, and he's on the Mayor's task force fighting the cat nip scourge crippling our city." The principal tried to calm everyone down, but the murmurs and gossiping never stopped.
Suddenly, a cat in a white lab coat approached the stage. He tapped the mic and started speaking.
"My name is Dr. Scratch, and I'm here to answer any questions you may have about cat nip. I know there's a lot of misinformation out there, so I want to clarify any concerns you may have."
"How soon before our children are all degenerates, begging for scraps in the alleyway? That happened to my uncle, and I'm afraid it'll happen to them, too!" A voice called out.
"Now, I know many outlets are calling catnip a drug or a bad influence. However, the science doesn't quite back that up." Dr. Scratch explained.
"He's with the catnip cartel! Burn him at the stake!" A Persian cat stood up and pointed at Dr. Scratch, waving for the crowd to storm the stage with him.
He ran up to the stage, getting ready to leap up and take Dr. Scratch down. But, since no one followed, he instead continued running out the door, not saying a word.
The room fell silent. It was pretty awkward.
Why Do Cats Like Catnip?
Cats like catnip because it makes them feel good. The volatile oil inside the plant triggers feelings of euphoria. Just a quick whiff of the plant can cause a reaction, although not all cats will react the same way.
If you had asked me at the beginning of this story whether I would give my son catnip willingly, I would've clawed your eyes out. But, after listening to Dr. Scratch for an hour at an emergency PTA meeting, my mind is almost totally changed.
"Cat nip is kind of a drug, in that it affects your mood." Dr. Scratch explained. "However, it's certainly not harmful. In fact, it can help alleviate stress and anxiety in most cats."
"But what about Channel 4's reporting? Are you calling them liars?" A parent shouted. “Channel 4 News is a trusted local source of information. I’ve been watching their news program for decades!”
"No, they're not liars. They're just misinformed. Plus, they know that fear is a powerful ratings booster. If you're all afraid of something, you'll always tune in to find out more."
"So, are you saying we should give cat nip to our kids?" Another parent asked.
"Not unless they need it. Typically, catnip can be good for kittens who need to de-stress. For example, before an exam." Dr. Scratch replied.
His words resonated in my brain. That's exactly what my son said. He needed to calm down before a test. Are they in cahoots with each other? Or are they just reading the same materials?
How Much Catnip Can I Give My Cat?
Since catnip is a natural plant, there is no “correct” amount to give your cat. Typically, a small pinch of catnip is good enough to trigger a reaction. However, over time, cats can develop a tolerance, so it’s best to use it sparingly.
“According to the science, a small pinch is best for catnip. If necessary, you can give a little more, depending on how your cat reacts,” Dr. Scratch explained.
"At what age can you give cats catnip?" A voice rang out.
"Well, the earliest you can give catnip is about seven, or six months in human years. Before that, catnip doesn't really have much of an effect on kittens."
"What if my child won't stop rolling around and purring? What if they do that forever?"
"That's impossible. The oil in the plant wears off after about 30 minutes. Even if it's fresh catnip, it'll wear off sooner rather than later." Dr. Scratch explained.
"But how do you know?" Someone asked.
"I've seen its effects up close. I've been studying the plant very carefully in the last few months."
More murmurs from the crowd. "How to give cat catnip?" The question was worded weirdly, but everyone got the gist.
"Just give them a little bit at a time. It doesn't take much for the Nepetalactone to do its thing. A little sprinkle of fresh or dried catnip should do the trick."
Is Catnip Addictive?
Catnip is not addictive, as it doesn’t cause withdrawal symptoms in cats. It’s also impossible for a cat to overdose on the plant. However, ingesting too much can cause an upset stomach.
“So, let me get this straight. Catnip is not harmful, not addictive, and comes with a slew of health benefits? All cats from seven years and older can take cat nip to alleviate stress and anxiety?” The principal laid it all out for everyone. “What happens if they eat the plant?”
“When sniffed, catnip has a stimulating effect, so cats are more playful. If ingested, catnip has a more relaxing effect that can help you sleep. So, if you have some insomnia, some ‘Nip could help you fall asleep faster.” Dr. Scratch explained.
“Well, that’s enough for me! I’m convinced! Catnip for all!” The principal shouted.
A Catnip Household
There was a time when the idea of giving my son catnip seemed so foreign to me. Like I would be locked up for even thinking about it. Now, I sprinkle a little bit on his pillow so he can relax and have sweet dreams every night.
"Mom, you don't have to give me cat nip all the time. Only when I'm stressed out," he said.
I laughed in his face. What do kids know about anything?
Catnip like Cat Crack can be highly beneficial to your cat. It helps alleviate issues like anxiety and depression, and it can make your cat more calm and de-stressed. If your cat has sleeping problems, a nibble of catnip can help them relax and fall asleep.
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